Therapy is no longer a place to just fix problems, instead it has become an arena of growth and self-understanding. Again remember that no one can tell you that you need therapy. It is a decision that you have to make yourself. This a tool to help you with that important decision. It will point out the major areas in your life that may need improvement. You may discover issues that you did not know could be changed. It is important to realize that there is hope--and with the desire to grow, you can accomplish great things!

NOTE: This is an updated version of the same test which was recommended by DEAR ABBY in her May 4th, 1993 column and is now in use in universities, hospitals, doctor's offices, government agencies (including the FBI and CIA), mental health centers, and in the armed services around the world. THIS IS NOT A STANDARDIZED PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST. It is a self-evaluation tool which can help you evaluate where you are at in life, and where you would like to be emotionally.

DIRECTIONS: Read each of the 28 numbered sentences. Then choose the number on the scale beside the sentence that feels most appropriate for your situation.

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When you are finished, submit your answers to us and we will send you the results within 24 hours. You have to input your CORRECT email address for your responses to be evaluated. It will then be deleted and will not be used again for any reason.

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1. How has your mood been lately as compared to your normal state?

unhappy ...............average .............very happy

next question--scroll down... 

2. How is your sleep pattern?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

don't sleep well ................no problem sleeping

next question--scroll down... 

3. How much transition or change is occurring in your life?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Major changes or .................................minor or

several changes ...................................few changes

next question--scroll down... 

4. How is your health?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

many or serious .......................excellent health

health problems

next question--scroll down... 

5. How are your relationships with friends, family, spouse?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

very unhappy ................................very content

next question--scroll down... 

6. Do you have trouble expressing your needs and feelings and saying no when you don't feel like doing something? Do significant others report that you have trouble expressing your feelings?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

trouble expressing needs .....assertive with my

and saying no ........................needs and feelings

next question--scroll down... 

7. How is your sex life?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

very bad ..................fine .....................excellent

next question--scroll down... 

8. Is your sexual behavior healthy and satisfying?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

unhealthy ............................................. healthy

next question--scroll down... 

9. Are you comfortable with your sexual orientation?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

no .............unsure .........................................yes

next question--scroll down... 

10. Do you have problems with sexual/life issues (such as concerns about having children, fertility, pregnancy, birth control, or abortion)?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

difficulties ..................no significant problems

next question--scroll down... 

11. Have you noticed problems with your memory?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

trouble with memory ..............perfect memory

next question--scroll down... 

12. Do childhood memories or lack of them cause you any distress?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

yes ..........unsure ............................................no

continue...

13. Do you accept the way that you look and feel good about your body?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

hate your appearance ........feel good about your looks

14. Are you taking time out for yourself?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

don't have time ...........................self-nurturing

15. Do you have excessive feelings of anxiety, fear, or distressing phobias?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

regularly ....................................................never

16. Are you having occupational, school problems, or problems taking care of your family?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

problems ..........................................no problem

17. Are there any stressful situations occurring in your life?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

high stress .........................................low stress

18. Are you or someone close to you faced with a life-threatening illness?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

yes ...................................................................no

19. How has your energy state been lately compared to your normal state?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

large change .........................little or no change

20. Do you find it difficult to understand and express your feelings?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

difficult to understand .........able to express feelings

and express my feelings

21. Do you find yourself repeating behavior patterns that are unhealthful or that are causing you distress?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

often rarely ...............................................never

22. Do you have trouble staying in a committed relationship even though you desire intimacy?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

trouble with intimacy .................not a problem

23. Do you find yourself losing your temper often?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

often .......rarely ........................................never

24. Do you feel that eating is a major focus in your life?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

eating and food are .....................its just eating

very important to me

25. Do you feel that you provide adequately for your family and/or for yourself?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

no .......sometimes .........................................yes

26. Do you have problems with emotions changing in cyclical or unexplainable ways?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

severe emotional changes ..............no problem

27. Have you ever been raped, physically abused, beaten, or otherwise sexually assaulted?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

yes ...................................................................no

28. Would you like to learn more about yourself and why you are the way that you are?

1----2----3----4----5----6----7----8----9----10 SELECT 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

interested ....................................not interested

that was the last question...

Look for future versions of the SES for couples, seniors, children and other groups.

Each of the above questions probes an area which signals that therapy can be of help. If you scored close to 10 on all of the questions then therapy is not likely to be of help to you at this time. Therapy is not just designed to help you through the tough times; it can also help you to understand yourself better and help you to grow as a person.